Little C: I'm Probably Dying (And I Still Can't Spell Apparently Right On The First Try)
Readers, I know we have been a little bad at this whole "publishing our blog posts on time" thing lately. So sorry that we suck. Mostly my excuse is that I've discovered that I get ocular migraines. My mother has been getting them for years and it seems that I've inherited this trait from her. I couldn't have gotten a useful gene like the one that allows her to be a good speller. Yay I get to look forward to these moments where light and sound feel like very small but very real pickaxes being driven into my skull but I still can't spell apparently right on the first try. Cool.
I was walking through the grocery store browsing the.. um... vegetables... Ok I was getting a box of Cookie Crisp cereal because I may be an adult but I just did not feel like cooking anything. Suddenly one of my eyes went all hazy and weird. The hypochondriac in me immediately thought "Stroke! Do you smell toast? When was the last time you updated your living will?" The weirdo inside of me thought "Oooh. That little line of light that's keeping me from reading the price label sure is pretty."
For the record I would like my ashes pressed into a vinyl record. Side A should be Bohemian Rhapsody. Side B should be Life on Mars.
I called CT as soon as I wandered my way through the check out. "I think I'm getting a migraine."
"Can you talk louder? I think we have a bad connection."
"I'M DYING!" I may have shrieked.
"Actual dying, or I didn't respond to you fast enough and now you're being dramatic."
"Don't change the subject. I need your guidance. Help me Obi Wan. I may be going blind." I explained the situation to her and she confirmed that it sounded like a migraine and then very patiently talked me through how to take care of myself so that I didn't actually die the way I kept threatening.
So here I sit, typing through dictation because CT is currently able to have her eyes open, that fantastic wonderful gorgeous woman.* Hopefully I feel better soon. If not please not I would like to be played at my own funeral. Queen side first.
*She actually used a phrase I refuse to type, because I am a lady.
I was walking through the grocery store browsing the.. um... vegetables... Ok I was getting a box of Cookie Crisp cereal because I may be an adult but I just did not feel like cooking anything. Suddenly one of my eyes went all hazy and weird. The hypochondriac in me immediately thought "Stroke! Do you smell toast? When was the last time you updated your living will?" The weirdo inside of me thought "Oooh. That little line of light that's keeping me from reading the price label sure is pretty."
For the record I would like my ashes pressed into a vinyl record. Side A should be Bohemian Rhapsody. Side B should be Life on Mars.
I called CT as soon as I wandered my way through the check out. "I think I'm getting a migraine."
"Can you talk louder? I think we have a bad connection."
"I'M DYING!" I may have shrieked.
"Actual dying, or I didn't respond to you fast enough and now you're being dramatic."
"Don't change the subject. I need your guidance. Help me Obi Wan. I may be going blind." I explained the situation to her and she confirmed that it sounded like a migraine and then very patiently talked me through how to take care of myself so that I didn't actually die the way I kept threatening.
So here I sit, typing through dictation because CT is currently able to have her eyes open, that fantastic wonderful gorgeous woman.* Hopefully I feel better soon. If not please not I would like to be played at my own funeral. Queen side first.
*She actually used a phrase I refuse to type, because I am a lady.
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