CT: The Tinkerbell Half Marathon (Updated!)
Why hello folks! So this is a special two-parter blog post because this weekend I'm participating in the Pixie Dust Challenge. Which is a (quite frankly crazy) event where you run a 10k one day and then a half marathon the next. I know what you're thinking... Why would any sane person do that? That's a good question that occurred to me about 2 miles into the first race today.
Because you're 100% correct. This is ridiculous behavior. And yet, here we are. The training is done and we've gotten as far as we're gonna get. It's go time. Because what we're really here for is the bling.
So this week I thought I'd do a little two-part post after each day. Here goes:
The 10K
Here's the thing I love about the Disney races- all kinds of people participate. The super intense runners are there right alongside the newbies like me. And everyone encourages each other to an almost terrifying degree. Today I finished alongside a mom running with her little boy, as well as a pair of sisters. Watching everyone struggle together is really powerful. There are a bazillion people running these races (that's the scientific amount).
The race itself was tough. I've been doing this running thing, but I never feel like a real runner once I'm on the course. But holy freaking cow is it amazing to cross that finish line.
So today was a success and I have my bright shiny medal. Honestly I'm pretty nervous for tomorrow. But running the half last year was a huge eye-opener to what you have inside of you.
The Half Marathon
Okay, so I know that I'm the biggest bum ever as far as blogging, but believe me when I tell you that I was dead yesterday. I mean the most tired I have ever been. So let's back up a little bit together and I'll tell you about Sunday's race.
Actually, that's a lie. Let's start with Saturday afternoon & evening. And let me get really, really honest with you for a second. I was hurting in a major way after the 10K on Saturday. Not just my muscles, although I was crazy stiff and sore. I was down. I didn't feel like I performed well at all during the 10K. I finished, but it felt ugly, and my medal felt like a sign of that ugliness rather than any sort of victory. So by the time I went to bed on Saturday night, I'd decided: I wasn't going to run on Sunday. I was going to get up with everyone, let them know that I didn't feel comfortable running, and cheer them on from the sidelines. There were, in my exhausted and emotional mind, a bazillion different reasons not to run the Half. My body hurt, there was a huge chance I could hurt it worse, I wasn't ready, I wasn't prepared mentally, and on and on and on.
Then came Sunday morning. I got up, got dressed, and went down to the starting line with my group of amazing friends, sister, and mom. I can't tell you why I went. I was completely prepared to tell them I wasn't going to run, and instead I got ready and went with them. Yes, my body hurt. Yes, I wanted to sleep for a year. No, I did not in any way, shape, or form want to do a half marathon. And yet, I went.
About three minutes before our group started the race, a completely bizarre sense of calm washed over me. I just knew, in my heart, that no matter what it was all going to be okay. That I was taking this all too seriously. That I was going to go as far as I could, as fast as I could, and if I couldn't keep up with the pace and got swept, even that was going to be okay.
So as I walk/ran, that thought went through my head over and over. "It's going to be okay. You're okay." I completely assumed that I would be swept before I'd finished the first few miles. My goal was to complete another 10K (6 miles), but even if didn't make it that far, it was all going to be okay. And then I passed Mile 6. And Mile 7, and Mile 8. And then, right as I approached Mile 9 the vans pulled up and let me and those around me know that we were being swept, that we were too far behind the pacing requirement to finish. And that's something that would normally have sent my hyper competitive self into a deep spiral of self-pity and despair, but again I knew that it was okay. In fact, it was way more than okay. I went way further than I thought I would, and I honestly was proud of myself.
Right as the (insanely kind) Disney employees were helping us into the van, a song came on my headphones. I keep my running mix on shuffle, but there's one song that generally comes around just when I really need it. Here you go:
Caitlin has already told you how much we love Ben Howard, but "The Fear" is always going to have a special place in my heart. If you don't want to/can't listen to the whole song, just know that there's a part towards the end where he repeats:
So that's what I'm saying after this amazing, challenging, muscle-killing experience. I will become what I deserve. And it's all going to be okay.
Much Peace,
CT
The Half Marathon
Okay, so I know that I'm the biggest bum ever as far as blogging, but believe me when I tell you that I was dead yesterday. I mean the most tired I have ever been. So let's back up a little bit together and I'll tell you about Sunday's race.
Actually, that's a lie. Let's start with Saturday afternoon & evening. And let me get really, really honest with you for a second. I was hurting in a major way after the 10K on Saturday. Not just my muscles, although I was crazy stiff and sore. I was down. I didn't feel like I performed well at all during the 10K. I finished, but it felt ugly, and my medal felt like a sign of that ugliness rather than any sort of victory. So by the time I went to bed on Saturday night, I'd decided: I wasn't going to run on Sunday. I was going to get up with everyone, let them know that I didn't feel comfortable running, and cheer them on from the sidelines. There were, in my exhausted and emotional mind, a bazillion different reasons not to run the Half. My body hurt, there was a huge chance I could hurt it worse, I wasn't ready, I wasn't prepared mentally, and on and on and on.
Then came Sunday morning. I got up, got dressed, and went down to the starting line with my group of amazing friends, sister, and mom. I can't tell you why I went. I was completely prepared to tell them I wasn't going to run, and instead I got ready and went with them. Yes, my body hurt. Yes, I wanted to sleep for a year. No, I did not in any way, shape, or form want to do a half marathon. And yet, I went.
About three minutes before our group started the race, a completely bizarre sense of calm washed over me. I just knew, in my heart, that no matter what it was all going to be okay. That I was taking this all too seriously. That I was going to go as far as I could, as fast as I could, and if I couldn't keep up with the pace and got swept, even that was going to be okay.
So as I walk/ran, that thought went through my head over and over. "It's going to be okay. You're okay." I completely assumed that I would be swept before I'd finished the first few miles. My goal was to complete another 10K (6 miles), but even if didn't make it that far, it was all going to be okay. And then I passed Mile 6. And Mile 7, and Mile 8. And then, right as I approached Mile 9 the vans pulled up and let me and those around me know that we were being swept, that we were too far behind the pacing requirement to finish. And that's something that would normally have sent my hyper competitive self into a deep spiral of self-pity and despair, but again I knew that it was okay. In fact, it was way more than okay. I went way further than I thought I would, and I honestly was proud of myself.
Right as the (insanely kind) Disney employees were helping us into the van, a song came on my headphones. I keep my running mix on shuffle, but there's one song that generally comes around just when I really need it. Here you go:
Caitlin has already told you how much we love Ben Howard, but "The Fear" is always going to have a special place in my heart. If you don't want to/can't listen to the whole song, just know that there's a part towards the end where he repeats:
I will become what I deserve...
I will become what I deserve...
So that's what I'm saying after this amazing, challenging, muscle-killing experience. I will become what I deserve. And it's all going to be okay.
Much Peace,
CT
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